Mandatory Morale

$29.50
Welcome to the battalion morale event—where attendance is mandatory, the beer is rationed, and the only thing more fake than the smiles are the safety briefs. This shirt is for the ones who pregamed in the barracks, snuck a flask into the ruck march, and know damn well morale isn’t built with cornhole tournaments and hot dogs boiled in failure.

Front and center is our patron saint of mandatory fun: a skeleton soldier, half-beaten, clearly dehydrated, still grinning like he just crushed a six-pack in the porta-shitter. Above him, the battle cry of the perpetually over it: “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.”

This one’s for the real ones—the guys who bring whiskey to the range, beer to the field, and sarcasm to every all-hands meeting. Wear it when you’re hungover at formation or three White Claws deep at the company picnic. Just don’t forget: smiling is not optional.

• 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
• Fabric weight: 3.4 oz/yd² (115.3 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk for extra durability
• 40 singles
• Regular fit
• Side-seamed construction
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
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Welcome to the battalion morale event—where attendance is mandatory, the beer is rationed, and the only thing more fake than the smiles are the safety briefs. This shirt is for the ones who pregamed in the barracks, snuck a flask into the ruck march, and know damn well morale isn’t built with cornhole tournaments and hot dogs boiled in failure.

Front and center is our patron saint of mandatory fun: a skeleton soldier, half-beaten, clearly dehydrated, still grinning like he just crushed a six-pack in the porta-shitter. Above him, the battle cry of the perpetually over it: “The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.”

This one’s for the real ones—the guys who bring whiskey to the range, beer to the field, and sarcasm to every all-hands meeting. Wear it when you’re hungover at formation or three White Claws deep at the company picnic. Just don’t forget: smiling is not optional.

• 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
• Fabric weight: 3.4 oz/yd² (115.3 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk for extra durability
• 40 singles
• Regular fit
• Side-seamed construction
• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!